Something i feel really bad about?

okay so like i feel really bad and im sorry to anyone who gets mad but i just i don't know why i feel like this im 16 and im gay and i know boy (far away) who i love allot and i could see myself marrying him(After dating in person to make sure of course not stupid i know what he looks and sounds like but u know just to be sure and stuff) but like i could totally see like i guss marrying him or like bieng with him forever but like im doing a reserch project on gay marraige and i was looking at pictures and vidoes of like older 50 60's gay couples and it was like just idk ewww to me and like it just looked worng and disgusting to me and i really feel bad like really realy bad about it but like thats all i can think of when i see something like that is there something wrong with me am i horrible? :...( im sorry if u hate me but enough pepole do so ill get over it maybe...